What did sad people do to make themselves happy before the invention of cat gifs?
Goin’ Down in Fergustown
It would be so awesome if a bunch of rifle toting Tea Party militia types showed up in Ferguson, and marched right up to the protesters. And it would get all quiet and you could cut the tension with a knife. And then the Tea Party types suddenly said “we are here to stand and fight with you, you are our fellow Americans, you are our brothers. If anyone wants to get to you, they have to go through us.”
And then there would be a wave of shock through the crowd, and the militia guys would start passing out water bottles and candy bars, and people would be hugging, and even some tears (though that might just be residual from the tear gas.) And then they all turn to face the police, arm in arm. And the cops get ready to charge…
And then mother fuckin’ Mel Gibson shows up out of nowhere. He stands on the roof of a car and gives an absolutely awesome speech. And the fear in the crowd melts away. The rubber bullet wounds and stun grenade pain is no longer something to be afraid of, but a badge of honor!
And someone in the crowd remembered a boom box, and he holds it up like John Cusack in “Say Anything.” He even looks like Cusack. Fuck, maybe it is Cusack. And the soundtrack he plays is rousing, and touching and like something out of “Remember the Titans” or “The Postman.” You know, that part at the end where Kevin Costner defeats the bad guy and then the militia joins the mixed rabble and they all hug and sing love songs and rebuild the world together? Yeah, that part. Fuck yeah Postman.
And then the battle is about to begin… but suddenly, it happens. A cop breaks ranks. A lone man, dropping his riot shield and baton and automatic rifle. And he walks slowly across “no man’s land.” Stops at the protesters and says, "my job is to protect you, and this is where I need to be to do that." And then dramatically turns to face the other police. And then another cop does it. And another. And soon all the cops are with the protesters, and fuckin’ Apollo Creed and Rocky are there waving American flags, and everyone is facing the one last guy on the cop line. The cliche bad guy. The angry, intolerant, hate filled “Man.” Alone with his guns and armored personnel carriers and riot shields, inflexible in his anger.
And some lone little girl crosses the lines to face him. And he glares down at her. And she looks up with beautiful, thoughtful loving eyes. She smiles. And then she kicks that a-hole right in the nuts. BAM! And he goes down like a sack. And the crowd cheers and America cheers and the world cheers!
That’d be awesome.
A friend and I were talking about Star Trek movies, and he entered a realm of technicality and geek knowledge that I could not follow. While he was referring to obscure portions of specific scenes, I’d just say “uh, the one with the whales.” When I looked up Star Trek later on the internet, I realized all the movie guides and reviews were written by hard core Trekkies. So this is a little guide for the rest of us.
Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Snakes in a Plane while flying? No fear of that.
Spiders in my Car while driving? That shit is terrifying.
Another teaser that was just too good not to post…. :) 💜 CatWoman set “the long Halloween” now on @cosplaydeviants ! Shot by @danger_ninja with makeup by @xanthiapink and jumpsuit by #capeandcowl …. Use my name VIVKA at sign up and get 50% off your initial month, so you can see all my sets for only $5! #cosplay #costume #catwoman #batman #dc #comics #thighhigh #heels #selina #geekgirls #tattoo #girlswhocosplay
Hey look, it is my wall (I’m sure that is what everyone is focusing on.)
I finally have some good photos of my new photo studio, Dystopian Studios II.
Both of my studios are available for rental. If you need a photo/video studio in Los Angeles, we are the best deal around!
"The Last Ship" is basically JAG after an apocalypse.
The choice is yours.
This is a shit ton of bullshit and shaming. People are born with health problems and perfectly healthy people develop health problems. There isn’t always a choice.
are your eyes red, itchy, and inflamed? don’t reach for those eyedrops, just grab a fucking red pepper and shove that into your eyes instead, just fucking jam all the vegetables you can into your eyes you fucking animal just do it
Inject V8 directly into your veins you miserable bag of trash. Get a giant syringe full of vegetable juice and stab right through your fucking arm in a wild attempt to cure your heart condition.
Wow, and here I could have saved all the time and discomfort of fucking brain surgery by eating a leek or something. WHO KNEW?!
Commentary. On. Point.
too much chlorophyll, not enough beta carotene
need concentrated oxygen to breathe? nope go for the healthy alternative and stick fucking grapes up your nose
Don’t knock natural cures until you try it. Last time I broke my leg, I just splinted that bitch between a couple of celery stalks and a handful of carrots, and I was on a can-can dance line a week later. Stuff is magic.
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
The actual screening at Comic Con had about 2 or 3 more minutes of footage, but this public trailer is still totally bad ass.
We were basically born of Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior over 30 years ago. George Miller defined the aesthetic for the post-apocalyptic genre, set the standard for gritty action films, and was one of the main influences on modern car sequence choreography. Few films or filmmakers have has as much of an influence on modern cinema. I can’t wait to see him pop into the world he created for a fresh little visit.
How come people that always insist they don’t need the government, and that the government does nothing for them, insist on sharing that opinion via the government funded, researched, and created internet?
If they were keeping it real, they’d use smoke signals.